The Love I Have For Children
I have experienced so much love when I was growing up. I received such a lot of love from different people, adults in particular. Some called me Fifi, Fofo, Boriswana (I don’t even know what this name meant), Posche, Miss Little Teacher, Mmasebotsana (meaning “the beautiful one”), Mosadi wa ditsebe (the lady with big ears) and the list goes on.
One day, one teacher said to me, “you know, there is just something with your eyes that I can’t explain”. I just wondered what she meant. When a child is loved like that, the world will be a better place as they will return the favour and love other children just as much.
When I see a child, I cannot help but just want to love them. When I see a group of children, I just go crazy and want to jump around and dance around with them. I see joy on their faces and that brings joy to my soul. Why? Because I am still a child at heart. Sometimes I ask myself if it is normal to be feeling like I am still a child at heart. I promise you; this feeling is so real and feels so damn good. I cannot imagine myself without this feeling.
I give my attention to children when I meet them anywhere. Sometimes these encounters bring tears of joy to my eyes. It is a pity now as the world is going through lockdown as a result of the Corona virus, and I cannot do what I love. The social distancing and the staying at home are really taking a toll on me. But I am a survivor. This one too shall pass. If I have survived going to bed hungry and waking up the following day to go to school on an empty stomach, walk all the way about 20 kilometres on foot, this is nothing. If I have survived bathing in freezing cold water in the middle of winter, then I will survive this as well.
I can just imagine parents whose children are away. I can just imagine the emptiness the parents and their children are experiencing. The heartache of longing for your children and/or parents. It is ok to feel lonely. It is ok to miss your parents no matter how old you can be, do not be embarrassed about it. It is not a sign of weakness. It is ok to miss your babies, no matter how old they are. It is not a sign that you do not want to cut the cord. It is totally ok to be vulnerable. Cry the heartache out, it is ok.
This then brings me to the advice I have for parents of smaller children. Spend as much time as you possibly can with your children, play with them as much as you can. I know that sometimes parents mistake doing homework with the children as spending time with them or mistake being in the house as spending time with their children.
Spending time with your children refers to having quality time and doing fun activities. For example, playing together, learning dance moves together, cooking together, learning how to swim together, go on holiday together, visit a local museum together, go to the shops together etc. The best is to ask your children what they would like to do for fun and let them lead. And take it from there. Just do not be an uptight parent, ok?
Young children are able to reciprocate love without any limitations. I remember when my youngest boy who is now 19 years old, was still very young, he would just give me a big kiss out of the blue, give me hugs, sit next to me all the time and tell me “I love you, Mommy”. Whenever he would find me sitting on the couch with his sisters, he would ask them to make space for him next to me, but these days, I no longer get the kiss, I rarely get the hug and luckily, I still get “I love you, Mom” with a deep tone. As soon as your children become teenagers and young adults, they want to reciprocate the love but are embarrassed and have a fear of how other people will react, they are also going through body transformation and they are somehow embarrassed about it. So, pump up the love on your children and other children out there, while you can. It will make a big difference